Tuesday, 15 November 2011
I am currently writing the first draft of the second book and although the process is quite different from writing I Woke Up In The Future, one thing they both have in common is the first draft is always the hardest. The first draft is always the most painful, its the most difficult thing to get through. Especially when you write something which is so deeply personal as I do and you have to remember what you said, what you did and more importantly how you felt back then. I have journals, twenty years worth and sometimes when I read them I am so far removed from the memory that its as if I am reading someone else's words. Other times I read the words and cry. Cry because the memory is still painful, cry because I know there is a part of me that still needs to heal, cry because sometimes it's the only thing I can do. I often wonder if someone else were to read those words and feel the pain of their own experience would they cry? if so, how would that make me feel? well although the first draft is the hardest, and the most painful and makes me cry sometimes. I somehow get through it and continue to write, because once I have typed the full stop of the last sentence on the last page, my tears have dried up and I feel better. I even smile. If that's what happens to whomever reads my words, they heal through tears to reach the end with a smile, well then the first draft although the hardest will always be worth it.